Treatments to adoption-what does it look like?

Here lately, I have been blogging less. I have at times felt like I do not have a lot to share or no one will relate. It is the awkward time where I stand between the fertility treatment and adoption world. It is weird and different. So, I thought I am going to share how this time is feeling for me. 
First, the sadness of not experiencing pregnancy is still very real and sad. I am not sure if this sadness will ever go away till I am in my grave. I have met so many wonderful ladies in the infertility world that I love dearly. Recently it has been hard to relate to a lot of them because I feel so alone in this part of my journey. Most of the girls I was the closest to have either had babies or currently pregnant. I am so happy for them, but such a lonely feeling for me. Every day I am more and more ok with the thought that I may never have a genetic baby. I know that God has a perfect little baby out there for us. I can't wait till that day! 
Now, we are on the adoption side which I can say is not an easy process either! You feel so judged by their questions because they dig for any negative they can get to...at least that is how it feels. I can honestly say though after beginning the journey to adoption this is the happiest I have been in a very long time. I finally feel like we have a light at the end of the tunnel. Our infertility and treatments were some very difficult times that most will never fully understand. The sadness, depression, feel helpless, and no control over anything really sucked! With adoption it is hard, but I feel like we are moving forward at least. Now we just wait...and wait..and wait some more till the perfect gift is given to our family. 
I have heard so many times just adopt after failed treatments. First, please don't say that to someone struggling to conceive. Can you imagine the feeling this couple has at not being able to have a baby? It is awful. Also, adoption is not easy and it is expensive. Adoption is a wonderful thing, but it is not for everyone. Adoption is for us though and we are so happy to be on this journey to our sweet baby. We have been preparing our nursery and having fun doing it. 
I thought the comments I got during my fertility treatments were bad...well I have heard some pretty pathetic comments towards adoption too. Here are a few.. Oh, when you adopt you will get pregnant! Wow, really? It isn't that easy people! I have been told that I am "lucky" that I don't have to experience pregnancy and delivery. I don't know how anyone would think I was lucky..I think that makes me pretty unlucky actually. Could you imagine not having the children you have or never having a baby? No matter how awful your pregnancy or delivery was. Aren't you scared the birth-mom will steal your baby? No, I am not. Open adoptions are great for all involved. Those mama's need our love and prayers so much. I pray for a love so fierce for my child's birth mom because that means so much to Chris and I. After attending our seminar I learned so much and took in so much. I cried and cried. You know, these women are giving the life of their baby to us and trusting us to parent. These women deserve to be loved and prayed for. They deserve to see pictures of their babies. They deserve to be respected. They do not deserve to be put down and told they made that choice. They made a decision that they felt/feel is best for their child. That takes a strong woman! 

Home-study

We had our home-study visit Thursday. It went great. We will receive a letter in about 3-4 weeks.  Then at that time we can be on the list for birth mom's to look at our profile. We are excited to see God's beautiful blessings come through. So excited for our journey to be parents.