Blessed

Today I had acupuncture..I even have a small bruise on my hand.  Now I have 5 bruises. Today while laying there relaxing/trying to fall asleep I was thinking. I was thinking about a conversation I had with a dear friend yesterday. We talked about how if I get pregnant I will still worry about my pregnancy until the day I hold my precious blessing. I guess with what I have gone through I will worry more than I would have if it wasn't this hard to get pregnant. I have learned so much during my struggle..I know what not to say to someone who is struggling or does not have children. I know that sometimes a hug is better than anything I can say. I know to listen to someone who is going through a hard time instead of saying it will be ok or you will be alright. I have experienced so much pain that I now understand that you have to walk in that person's shoes before you will ever understand what they are going through. I have more love to give then I ever had before! God has strengthened me and given me so much understanding because of Chris and I's journey. I have met some amazing women who are going through similar struggles and I realize not everyone will be able to ever carry their own children. I have hurt in my heart from my pain, but also watching other women with their struggles. I have made friendships with women who know exactly how I feel and are always here for me! 
I have so much to be thankful for and I am so blessed by my God. I have a husband who treats me better than I could ever had imagined. He works so hard for us and I am able to work part time as a nanny. I am thankful I am able to focus on our IVF cycle and not stress about work. I am so blessed. We have a beautiful home, 2 fat black cats, and 1 ornery boxer/German Shepherd mix. We have some amazing friends and family. We have a wonderful church and church family. We have an amazing small group through our church that never lets us fall and if we do they are right there picking us up! 
So, yes, infertility sucks in a bad way! It is a living hell, but God sure has blessed us in many other ways and we have great relationships through this bump in the road. 
Going through IVF is emotional...and I am going through it for the second time. I have had multiple injections, every other day blood work and ultra sound, and I go to acupuncture. I have had my fair share of needles..trust me! I hope one day I can look back on this journey and say I would do it all over again. I pray we get our little miracle this round. Without God in our life Chris and I couldn't make it through this. God is good! All the time!

Doctor appt. and estradiol check

I had an appointment today. I feel like a pin cushion. :) Anyway, during the ultra sound the doctor said he was happy with the size of my follicles. I got a call from the nurse about my blood work. My estrogen level went from 273 to 700! Chris and I are both excited about our cycle! Things are looking so much better than our last cycle. I was given directions on my new dose of meds. I will do 3 menopur powders now. I am a little nervous because 2 already sting so I can only imagine 3. I know this doesn't sound like a big deal to some people, but I am not a fan of injections and really they are uncomfortable. Tomorrow I only do 2 injections a day. Thank goodness! I was tired of the 6 Am injection. Hahaha. My doctor is predicting Monday as our retrieval..so Friday hopefully we will have a definite day! This process is an emotional roller coaster for sure! I have never experienced this kind of pain and loss that Chris and I are experiencing with infertility. We are stronger now than we were two years ago. I have also had to learn to ignore lots and lots of stupid comments! I have realized that some people will never understand and that's ok.

We are praying this gives us our little miracle(s). God has a wonderful plan for us..I know it!

IVF headache...

Tonight Chris was giving me my usual injections. Well...the Menopur needle had issues and some of the medicine came out. Chris got another needle and then it went in great, but we lost some. I called the on call nurse and she said it should be fine. I am still a little worried though. I have an appointment tomorrow and I am sure all will be fine.

I counted 4 bruised on me today. 2 bruises are from blood work and the other two are from injections. I am a pin cushion. 
 I had my acupuncture appt. It went great. It was relaxing. I really feel like it is helping me with this cycle.
Tomorrow I hope my estrogen continues to double!! 

Wednesday Appointment- better news!

Today I had my every other day ultra sound and blood work. My follicles are measuring well and my doctor was very happy with what he was seeing. :) I like when he is happy. I had my blood work done and then talked to the nurse about ordering more meds...and so we had to pay another good amount for more meds...but oh well. The nurse called me and said to continue my injections and finish out my Follistim injection. My Estrogen numbers on Saturday were 96 and today they were 273! She said my doctor was very excited about my numbers! My last cycle we struggled with my estrogen and that could have been the reason why my cycle failed. So, I am very excited and looking forward to my retrieval. He measured 10 good follicles today! :)

Saturday doctor appointment

 

I went in today for my every other day appointment. The nurse called me back and told me to continue Follistim. This is my third pen injection to do this cycle. I am still doing three injections and I have another appointment on Monday.  I am slightly frustrated with this cycle, but I guess we will see how things go.

Today I find myself more upset and frustrated than I was during IVF #1. It just seems like things are not going "right" this time. I wasn't suppressed so had to be put on some other meds which have now made me bleed. Had an awful experience with that at the doctors today...and will not go into detail because you probably don't even want to know. I am still on my Follistim pen. I am a bit more emotional this time and I feel like I can't express myself to anyone. I don't want Chris to get upset because I am upset. He already worries and feels bad watching my go through this IVF again. I can't express to many people because I don't want to sound like a baby, but really I just want to cry and be a baby. Is that wrong?

My favorite nurse was in the office today and did my blood work. We had a little trouble with my veins, but we finally got some blood. She also had to help me with my little mini crisis today. So glad she was the one there because anyone else I would have been even more embarrassed!

I do have to say that I have the most amazing and caring doctor ever! Even Chris said I love how Dr. Reshef treats you. When I was getting my blood work done he came over and patted me on my shoulder. He did say my follicles looked good today. So, I am going to try and not worry about this whole situation. I know it is all in God's hands.

Oh the road of IVF

Today I had a doctor appointment to check on my follicles and some blood work. My doctor was out today, but the nurse did my ultra sound. There were 8 follicles on the right and 4 on the left. My blood work came back that my FSH levels were low. I was suppose to stop Follistm today, but they had me come in and get another prescription so I can continue it. I am still doing 3 injections a day. We go back to see my doctor on Saturday morning. I should have a slight idea of when my retrieval will be. Yay! I also had my acupuncture appointment today. I really hope all this helps us get our BFP! We are trying to stay positive through this process. Lots and lots of praying. We appreciate all the kind messages, prayers, and support from our family and friends. I will update you when we know more. :)

suppression check #2

I went to my doctor appointment for my suppression check #2. The nurse called and let me know I was suppressed! So I started my stim meds today. I have one injection in the morning and 2 in the evening. I go back for an appointment on Thursday. Since my lining is so thick I will have a period. Bummer. Things are moving now! Yay! Starting tomorrow I will see my acupuncturist twice a week. Tuesday and Thursdays. My acupuncturist put me in his already busy schedule!