Thursday, August 22, 2013

Update on IVF cycle #2

IVF cycle #2 is going slowly. I started my little Lupron injections on Sunday...They are in my belly. They are pretty easy and don't really hurt. I go in for a suppression check on September 4th! Please let me be suppressed so I can move on! ha-ha!

I started seeing a new acupuncturist. It wasn't that I didn't like the last one, but I just hated driving to Norman for the appointments. So, I found a closer one and I really like him a lot! He is super nice and he gave me a hug at the end of the appointment. I am really excited and I really hope this increases my odds for IVF. It is said to help improve by 40-60 percent. Currently I am going once a week to prepare my body for pregnancy. Then when I start my stim injections I will go twice a week. He will focus on multiple things during that time. One of which will be to improve my egg to a grade A at transfer!

I have also in the last two weeks completely changed my diet. Now, I have days where I eat out or have a sweet or something, but I am eating better and not over eating like I use to. I am trying to lose weight and especially not gain anymore during my injections! I have been running or walking everyday. I have lost 3 lbs so far. I know that is not much, but it is a big deal to me. I am only drinking one pop a day and I am trying to completely stop drinking it when I start my stim injections. That is my goal! :)

Anyway, not much going on here, but eventually it will start moving! Continue to pray for Chris and I. We really appreciate all the prayers and support!

Friday, August 9, 2013

Comfort my heart God

I am not sure what my deal is latley...maybe it is the long wait between IVF. I start my injections on the 18th. I am still so nervous. I pray for peace and comfort everyday. I pray that whatever God has in his plans for Chris and I that we are ok with it and that our hearts are at peace. We were going to go to an adoption informational meeting yesterday, but Chris had a work deal. So we can just make an appointment with them by ourselves. The problem I am running into with this whole adoption thing is, that moment when I turn and face that adoption demon in the face is the day I believe I am saying good bye to the possibility of ever experiencing pregnancy...I didn't say mom for a reason. I will be a mom one day and that child will be mine either way. I guess I want to give this next IVF cycle another chance before I feel like I am giving up on the last of the hope I have left. We said we would do three cycles, but emotionally I don't know if we can. Unless you have been down this path you have no idea what we are experiencing. So here I am praying that we will see a miracle in September, but I also know that it could not happen. That is a daily struggle for me. Chris is so supportive and is on the wagon for adoption...and don't get me wrong I totally am too. I want to adopt, but I also would like to be able to wait awhile before we do because it is expensive. Currently we have wonderful insurance coverage for our infertility. I believe God has wonderful amazing plans for us! I truly can't wait to see God's plan in our life. I wish it wasn't this difficult..but I guess nothing is easy, right?
Lately, I have been feeling lonely. It is really hard to talk to some people about what we are going through because they do not understand. I feel like it is more a pain to talk about because I don't want to annoy people, but we really need all the support and prayers right now we can get. I know that sometimes I fall short of praising my God. I am thankful for what God has done with Chris and my life. My relationship grows deeper with God everyday and I am trying to be a better Christian daily. I will fall short sometimes, but I hope and pray that others can see the amazing things God is doing in our lives.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Hold on for the ride of infertility

Only 2 more weeks till I start injections again. Chris and I finished our antibiotics and I am still taking birth control- The birth control is to suppress my ovaries if you are wondering. :) I have 10 antibiotic pills left that I will take when I do my trigger shot in September. It seems so far away.. Last time it was a lot faster since I had been on the Lupron Depot shot and my ovaries were already suppressed. I have a suppression check and blood work on September 4th. From the appointment on it will start getting more busy with appointments and injections.

I  wanted to write about some feelings that go on during IVF because for some people they just don't understand and for others who do then they know these are normal feelings.
IVF is a very emotional process and we are sometimes slightly emotional from the medicines we are injecting ourselves (or husbands are injecting us) with. So please give us a break when we are down, sad, and being cry babies. I know to try to stay positive through this positive, but sometimes it is very hard to do that...especially for me after a failed IVF already. We go through a lot of appointments, blood work, needles, vaginal ultra sounds, drinking water and holding your pee forever for the egg retrieval, IV's, bed rest, and etc through this process. At times it can be very overwhelming and sometimes a hug would be really nice or a sweet note. It really makes a difference...trust me. I have been pretty lucky with the support I have around me. I have friends and family who brought me meals after my surgery and after my transfer. It helps out so much!

I am in this weird area of my infertility journey.... I am more nervous and scared this go around. I am really trying hard not to be. I have been praying for peace and comfort because I don't want to feel this unpleasant feeling on my heart. For me, I really think it is just the fear I will never experience pregnancy. People who are going through Infertility feel this way at times and some really never get to experience that in life. That is so sad especially when we watch people who can't care for their children pop out children like it is going out of style.

Please continue to pray with Chris and I for our little blessing(s) in our future. I have prayed for my future child and I can't wait to meet my child one day.