I feel like I am at a standstill with everything and don't have much to blog about. Today I read a friends blog about fear and it had me really thinking. Honestly, she is a lot better at blogging, writing, and standing in her faith than I am. I feel that sometimes I don't always lean on my faith in difficult times and really that comes from fear. Fear has really taken over my life. In the 3 years of fighting through infertility I have let fear take over...sadly. I have fears of never having children, never getting pregnant(I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I have this desire still), adoption fears, failed adoption, and the list really could go on. I don't think I am a bad person for having fear because really it is human nature, but as a Christian I know that God is my strength and I need to not have these fears. In a book I am currently reading it calls fear like cancer. Fear will eat away our faith! It is true it really does. When I have fear I start questioning and worrying about everything that is out of my control. We need to recognize the fear and let them go. I am trying my best to let go of the fears. I am not perfect and never will be so I know fear will creep in my life. My goal is to refocus the fears and lean on my faith more. I need to stop looking at all the wrong that "could" go wrong and believe! Believe that one day I will be rocking my sweet God chosen baby to sleep. Really that picture makes me a lot happier than the fears I have. The past few days I have some rough moments. Moments of sadness...especially with Mother's Day. Moments of sadness because my due date is coming up. Moments where I really wonder if God's plan is for me to be a parent. I have to let this all go. I have to trust God's words and promises to me. I will overcome this...I will be a mom soon. I will overcome these fears because God is my refuge and strength. God loves his people and he loves me. What a wonderful God we have. A loving God who will pull us through any situation in life. Everything in life isn't easy...we all have situations in life that tear us down, but God never leaves us! Isn't that awesome that God will never leave our sides even when we fail him daily!! What an awesome God we serve.
I read this post this morning but decided to think on it and pray before I responded...I wanted it to be words from God and not just something "fluffy" to say. Make sense?
Anyway, I read your post several times and each time the word "fighting" stood out to me. YOU have been the one fighting but God says "Be still! Let me fight this for you" There is no need to fear your future because as it says in Deuteronomy 31:6, He will personally go before you and prepare the way. He will not fail you nor abandon you. I love the verse Exodus 14:14. "The Lord will fight for you. Be calm." Do not panic. Do not fear. Do not worry. He can't fight for us if we are doing all the fighting ourselves. When we fight everything ourselves we have reason to fear, worry, panic, get tired, etc because we aren't letting God fight for us. We are just relying on our own abilities and our own abilities will not always get us victory. But praise God because He has all the tools, strength, wisdom, etc that we need to win this battle.
I hope these words encouraged you more than it caused more pain. Sometimes I think my comments don't come across the way I want them to. I love you girl and I haven't lost hope that you will have your own bio children one day. God created our bodies to be fruitful and He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He cannot change His mind :) xo
I understand your fears. I've felt them myself. I don't have the answers or the right words. But He does and I hope that he brings hope and peace into your heart. Hugs my friend.
I read this post this morning but decided to think on it and pray before I responded...I wanted it to be words from God and not just something "fluffy" to say. Make sense?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I read your post several times and each time the word "fighting" stood out to me. YOU have been the one fighting but God says "Be still! Let me fight this for you" There is no need to fear your future because as it says in Deuteronomy 31:6, He will personally go before you and prepare the way. He will not fail you nor abandon you. I love the verse Exodus 14:14. "The Lord will fight for you. Be calm." Do not panic. Do not fear. Do not worry. He can't fight for us if we are doing all the fighting ourselves. When we fight everything ourselves we have reason to fear, worry, panic, get tired, etc because we aren't letting God fight for us. We are just relying on our own abilities and our own abilities will not always get us victory. But praise God because He has all the tools, strength, wisdom, etc that we need to win this battle.
I hope these words encouraged you more than it caused more pain. Sometimes I think my comments don't come across the way I want them to. I love you girl and I haven't lost hope that you will have your own bio children one day. God created our bodies to be fruitful and He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He cannot change His mind :) xo
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Thank you friend. You always have the right words and encouragement to give. Of course I didn't take it the wrong way.
DeleteI understand your fears. I've felt them myself. I don't have the answers or the right words. But He does and I hope that he brings hope and peace into your heart. Hugs my friend.
ReplyDelete