Today I spent the day with my nieces at the zoo. As I was holding my one year old niece I had such an empty feeling. I have that missing piece in my life that I want complete so bad. That missing piece is a child for Chris and me. I know that parenting is not easy..I know that it will be one of the hardest jobs I have, but it is also so rewarding. It is hard when everywhere you go there are families. Even church can be a left out experience sometimes. I try to be positive, but then some days I wonder if this will ever end?! I pray on a daily basis that God will heal my heart and give me peace....and I believe I have came a long way in my healing process and dealing with infertility. BUT, I am human and I still fall down and cry sometimes. That's ok! I have to realize that is ok and a part of the healing process. Geez, two years ago I wouldn't have believed you if you told me I was going to have infertility issues. Sometimes I wonder "Why me, God?" Then as one of my sisterhood (infertility friends) said these battles are given to the strongest people. I have become one heck of a strong woman in the past two years. My husband and I grew stronger in these two years and I never knew how much a man could love you with all this "hell" going on. We support each other more now than ever before. God knew what he was doing when I randomly met Chris 9 years ago. Yes, 9 years ago! Wow! :)
My sweet Grandmother Young and I talked on the phone today. She asked how I was doing...and then I got tears in my eyes. I love that woman so much because I know in all my heart that she cares and prays for Chris and me every single day! What a wonderful blessing she is and I am thankful God let her be my grandma.
So here we are moving on with our journey and refuse to give up. God has a wonderful plan for us and I am excited for our future child(ren).
We see Dr. Reshef in 6 days! I am so ready for that appointment! I have my acupuncture appointment in 2 days! I wonder what I will be told at that appointment? I will let you know.
For all of you that continue to pray for us thank you so much! :)
My first one also failed, we waited for 5 years and then God blessed us with Faith Nicole and 3 years later we had Kelli LeAnne. Keep Believing and it will happen. All Things are Possible. Charlotte Bynum
ReplyDeleteThank you for the encouragement.
Deleteprayers for you and Chris
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteThis truly brought tears to my eyes. I too have been where you are and I also called it hell. Not one day or one night went by where i didn't question him or find myself on my knees begging for what came so easily to others. But He is good. And I found Him answering these same prayers of mine 6 years ago and I pray that he does the same for you two. Don't EVER give up hope.
ReplyDeleteAwww. I'm sorry you had to go through it too. I can't wait till I am blessed with my child.
DeletePraying for you and Chris both, good luck at your next appointment!! - Lindsay
ReplyDeleteThank you!
Deletewow im sorry god will gave u a child keep your head up baby girl may love be with u both and a baby for u both
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteJust remember... it took me two years for me to get pregnant with your husband! I'm not sure IVF was even available back then, but if it was, Mark and I could have never afforded anything like that. Keep your chin up and know we all love you both!
ReplyDelete