This post I am being more vulnerable in what I share. Please don't criticize me for my feelings or failures.
Wait for the Lord; Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14
I have been preparing my mind, body, and soul for my IVF round three cycle. My goal is to cast all fears aside. I know this is hard..you don't have to tell me that or remind me. I have been through enough infertility, disappointments, and Miscarriage to know fear creeps in the mind a lot. Every time I am getting a negative thought...which honestly happens more than I would like to admit..I say no! I am not fearing! God is in control and I am not letting the devil put fear into my heart, mind, and soul. Will I have fear? I am sure, but my goal is to cast it away. I believe in the promises of God. I am praying for the desires of my heart. God knows my desires. I am crying out to him what exactly I want! I read a book called Supernatural Childbirth. After reading that I decided I need to cry out my desires. I have prayed for my last cycles of course, but this round is different. I am believing more than ever! I am trusting God. I am not going t fill my mind with What ifs? What if I never have a baby? I have to stop that!
Another thing I am trying my best at is praying better for my ttc friends. I am praying to God for great embryo quality and pregnancy for them. I have to admit that sometimes I get so wrapped up in my journey that I sometimes haven't been great at praying a lot of specifically for my ttc friends. I am getting better. I feel like it is a strength that God is giving me because I have to admit it is hard to wish and pray for someone else on something you want to bad too! BUT, I am tired of feeling jealous, angry, and bitter every time I see a pregnancy announcement etc in the facebook world or anywhere for that matter.
Prayers:
**Next Suppression check that I will be fully suppressed and can move onto stim meds!
Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing. I'm going through something similar with fear (but this is only our first IVF cycle). Zephaniah 3:17 has been a big comfort to me. Also, thanks for mentioning that book. I'll have to check it out. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteYes..and good luck for you IVF cycle. They can be very stressful!
DeletePrayers!
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteThinking of you and sending prayers for comfort, peace, and acceptance. You are such a sweet woman and so deserving of being a mom.
ReplyDeleteAww Thank you so much.
DeleteI have been thinking about you and meant to email you Thursday night. I keep praying that everything will go smoothly for you. I get the fear - it so hard sometimes to not let the negative creep in. It is so scary and to let God have to control is sometimes so hard - even though it shouldn't be. Email me if you need to vent!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kari! I hope you are doing well too!!
DeleteI am believing with you and praying daily :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Amie! :)
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