"Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." Psalm 37:8
Sometimes throughout our infertility journey we have had people say insensitive things to us. I have learned that people sometimes just don't use the right words or they just don't know what to say. I have also said insensitive things to people. I remember still to this day a very insensitive thing I said to a very dear friend that was struggling with infertility back when we were in college. It makes me so sad to this day of what I said. Now, I am sitting here in her shoes and I hear some of the same things. So, I get it. I really try to remember people mean well, but today I had a person say something to me that was just awful. It crushed my heart in so many ways. This person is not a family member and is not a close friend...so really it shouldn't matter what they said. Right? It does though. I am not going to write what this person said, but I can tell you it was probably the most hurtful thing anyone ever said to me. I can say that I am thankful for the support of some of my sisters that struggle with infertility who had my back in the conversation. Sadly, I let my emotions get the best of me and I said some not so nice things. I apologized though. Then I read in my devotional of when people say insensitive things to you. It reminded me to keep my mouth closed and reminded me to pray for this situation. For all my sisters that struggle with infertility I am sorry for all the insensitive things that you have been told. My "favorite" is just relax or just adopt.
I am a little stronger every day and this journey has made me a stronger person. I am a different person because of this, but I am still Lisa. Love me for who I am.
I totally get it! I am someone who says the first thing that comes to my mind and whenever I first started struggling with infertility and someone said something "insensitive" I would spout off in anger. I realized that my response was probably worse than what they said (they sometimes didn't mean it in rudeness but my response was...eek!) So now, I "grin and bear" it. I just smile and nod...smile and nod :) lol!! However, since I wrote a blog on what to say and what not to say, I have noticed I get less comments. lol! I guess people took the hint. hehe
ReplyDeleteOmg, Lisa. I too have said some insensitive things in the past, and unintentionally still do. It's just my blunt honest side that doesn't allow my brain to process what needs to be said before my mouth starts moving. It's definitively something I'm trying really hard to work on. Continue being Lisa, I love you for you.
ReplyDeleteI agree 100% people don't fully understand how hard it can be to have a child unless they have gone through it. I'm praying for you.
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