Infertility video

I found this video and wanted to share. I thought this video about sums it all up.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KvCacOQ3C64

Don't judge my emotions today

Please do not judge me as I write how I truly feel today.Sometimes I do very well around news of people being pregnant, but today was not one of those days. I am happy for anyone expecting, but deep inside my heart aches. I would never wish infertility on anyone. It's seriously the hardest thing I have gone through to date. It took all I had not to start crying today. It is an empty feeling that I have no control over. I wonder why do Chris and I have to go through this? I try to remind myself when I am feeling down that God has a plan for us. Then some days my emotions just take over. What sucks the most is the lack of support from family and friends. You know the people that should be there for you? It seems like they are so scared of that infertility word. They don't know what to say, but really we just need a listening ear and someone to hug us. Now listen, before I went through infertility I did not understand either..but now I do. I guess you will never know the pain in our hearts unless you go through this. Sometimes I think that everyday will get easier, but really it gets more difficult. I can tell you this, I am so thankful for a loving, caring, and supportive husband. Chris is by my side each step of the way. I am thankful for my mother in-law who raised this sweet husband of mine. I am thankful for my best friend, Jennifer S. who even with a newborn baby still calls me and checks on me. She listens to me cry and supports me as Chris and I go through this. I am thankful for a church home where I have some close friends that know what we are going through because they have also gone through infertility. I am thankful for my awesome, smart, caring RE and his nurse. I truly believe that God uses the hands of my doctor to help Chris and I. I am thankful for my class where I teach because those cute little 21 kids keep my mind off of this journey while I teach. I am thankful for a relationship with God that keeps growing stronger..and a God who loves me no matter my flaws. What an AWESOME God I serve! I do have many things to be thankful for! One day I know that God will bless us with a sweet child. We will try to patiently wait for that blessing. As I finish my blog today with tears in my eyes I can tell you that I have such a blessed life even though I have pain in my heart. I know that pain won't stay forever. I am trying to take each procedure, test, injection, medication, etc. one step at a time. It can be a very overwhelming process

Encouraging

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Always remember you have friends and family praying for you. If you are down step out and ask for prayers. If you are a friend or family member of an infertile person, remember to lift them up.


Tips for you and your spouse if going through Infertility.

• Avoid blaming each other (reassure your partner you are in this together)
• Keep your relationship healthy. (Take time for each other, talk, schedule no infertility talk)
• http://www.healthywomen.org/content/article/infertility-and-your-relationship?context=ages-and-stages/29&context_title=&context_description

Sometimes infertility can cause a lot of stress and emotions. Be there for each other and build each other up!

Lupron Injection

Today I went to the doctor office for my Lupron injection. The injection was in a muscle near my bottom. It hurt just a little. Beverly (the nurse-only nurse) told me AF should arrive in about a week. After that my ovaries will shut down (temporarily)-this will help stop some of the Endo growth. After a week I should start seeing some symptoms which could be hot flashes and trouble sleeping. Sounds fun, huh? I will go back in a month for my second injection which is March18th then the next day we will have our IVF class. This is during my Spring Break, but at least it is at the beginning and then I can enjoy the rest of my break. :) Oh, and tomorrow I can start taking baths again!! It has been about 2 and half weeks since I could because of surgery. I love taking baths and I have missed them..just ask Chris.

I have had a few people say they have commented on post, but it doesn't show up. After you make a comment scroll down a bit and put in the code. Then you can post the comment.:) I enjoy reading the comments.


Here is a funny little e-card I found..haha! You have to laugh when you can, right?

 

 

Infertility abbreviations

Here are some abbreviations you could see me using. Just FYI. :)

 

Abbreviations

• AF = Aunt Flo/Period
• AI = Artificial Insemination
• AO = Anovulation
• Aunt Flo = Period
• BBT = Basal Body Temperature
• BC = Birth Control
• BC or BCP = Birth Control Pills
• BFN = Big Fat Negative
• BFP = Big Fat Positive
• BMS = Baby Making Sex
• BW or b/w = Bloodwork
• CD = Cycle Day
• CF = Cervical Fluid
• CM = Cervical Mucus
• DH = Dear Husband
• DPxDT = Days Post x-Day Transfer
• Dx = Diagnosis
• EDD = Estimated Due Date
• ENDO = Endometriosis
• EPT = Early Pregnancy Test
• FSH = Follicule Stimulating Hormone
• hCG or HCG = Human Chorionic Gonadotropin
• HPT = Home Pregnancy Test
• HSG = hysterosalpingogram
• IF = Infertility
• IUI = Intrauterine Insemination
• IVF = In Vitro Fertilization
• LH = Leutinizing Hormone (egg release)
• MC or m/c = Miscarriage
• MF = Male Factor
• O or OV = Ovulation
• OB/GYN = Obstetrician/Gynecologist
• OHSS = Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome
• OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit
• OTC = Over The Counter
• OW = Overweight
• PCOS = Polycycstic Ovary Syndrome
• PG = Pregnant
• RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist
• SA = Semen Analysis
• TTC = Trying to Conceive
• US or u/s = Ultrasound
• TWW-Two week window

Things to never say to an infertile friend

Here are my top 6 that I am putting on my list.

1. Don't complain about your pregnancy.

2.Don't gossip about them. The reason why many are reluctant to talk about their journey is because a) they don’t want to hear the above, and b) they’re afraid others will judge them and talk behind their backs. And the same goes for comforting someone with the story of someone else’s fertility woes—having an open discussion is one thing; swapping horror stories is another

3.Just relax

4.There are worse things that could happen.

5. You can always adopt.

6. Don't worry, it will happen.

Credit: http://fitbottomedmamas.com/2012/04/what-not-to-say-to-your-friend-struggling-with-fertility/

Emotions

So, lately I have been down. I have been really emotional about all that is going on with Chris and I. Sometimes I feel guilty if I let people know how I feel. I feel really bad when I have to talk to a friend about infertility who is pregnant or just had a baby because I feel like I am making them feel not happy about their situation. Which is not at all what it is, but feels that way. Then, my husband sent me a blog to read and it had a bible verse in it that really spoke to my heart. The verse is: "We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope  does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom has given us." Romans 5:3-5

Infertility is an emotional journey, but I am trying to stay positive and look to God for strength. It is not easy, but I know that God has a wonderful plan for Chris and I. I can't wait to see what our future holds.

On a different note, we took Bandit to the dog trainer today! It was an interesting experience, but overall she did well. We learned/will continue working on this week; sit, watch me, and how to ignore her when she is jumping. She was really shy and not wanting treats while we were there. That is so unlike Bandit. She did act a little crazy around other dogs, but towards the end starting getting better. I think this training will be good for her and us! :)

Laporoscopy and hysteroscopy outpatient surgery

I had my outpatient surgery last week (Feb.1, 2013). The surgery went well and I thought Integris Baptist was a very pleasant place to be. They treated me well and took good care of me. Dr. Reshef came to see me while I was in round 2 recovery since Beverly (the nurse) was sick. I thought that was really nice of him. We found out during the surgery that I have stage 4 endometriosis. Stage 4 is the most severe stage. Recovery the first few days was really rough. I vomitted on the first day home and my husband, Chris had to call the doctor to get my nausea medicine for me. Then on top of all that I got a migraine. It was awful. After vomitting all night my husband called the pharmacy to see if I could take my imitrex. Thankfully I could! The first day everytime I moved or got in/out of bed I cried. Yes, it hurt that bad. By Wednesday I was feeling much better! I am still a little sore right now, but just around my inscions.

I just want to say how blessed and thankful I am for all my friends and family. Thank you for the dinners, flowers, nice prayers and thoughts you all sent us. We really appreciate it!

The start of our journey

So here it is! This is what we have gone through up to this time. I will update as we go further in our journey through infertility. First I will go through our timeline of events we have gone through so far.

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for about 2 years. After almost a year of trying I went to see my doctor in July 2012. She referred me to a specialist who we have been seeing since August 2012. August 2012 we had our first consultation appointment. We sat down and discussed our options. August 2012,Chris had his semen analysis. It came out good. Thank goodness.  September 6, 2012 I had a HSG test done. This test was to see if I had blocked tubes. This test was uncomfortable and I was very emotional when I went in for the test. My doctor was very sensitive to my emotions and walked me though the whole test. On October 8, 2012 I went in for an ultrasound and Post-Coital test. The Ultrasound found a Cyst. 11-2-12 I went back to my doctor for another ultrasound and the cyst was still there and I also have some scar tissue. My doctor prescribed me fertility medicine which I used 3 months before looking at surgery. On 11-3-12 I started my first dose of fertility medicine. I had a laproscopic surgery on 2-1-13. During that surgery my doctor found I had Endometriosis stage 4. One 2-6-13 we went for our post-op appointment. My doctor has us starting lupron injections for three months. Then we will begin IVF soon. We go to a class for IVF in March.

This journey has been a very painful one. I never expected to be where I am today. It is really hard to see and watch everyone around you having children. It's a very empty feeling and some people are very insensitive to your feelings. I have had several people say things to me that have hurt really bad. They have no idea the emotions that this journey causes on yourself, you partner, and your marriage. Many tears have been shed through this experience. God has made me stronger and without a relationship with my God I wouldn't make it. My relationship is stronger now with God and my husband because of this journey.