IVF cycle number 3= BFN

First, I apologize for not updating sooner. I didn't have the right words and was an emotional mess to post. Our third cycle failed. We found out Thursday. The call from the nurse was like a kick in the stomach! I sat there and cried, yelled, and questioned God. I felt forgotten from my God... but then I was reminded "For the sake of his great name the Lord will not reject his people, because the Lord was pleased to make you his own." 1 Samuel 12:22
My heart was breaking and it felt like my heart was shattered in a million pieces laying on the floor in my living room. I sat there thinking I am only 27...only 27. What in the world? How can this be happening? Is this a dream? You mean to tell me I may never experience pregnancy, the birth process, breast feeding? I will never get to look at my baby and see my nose, mouth, eyes, etc? Why? Is it ok for me to feel sad and angry? "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18  
Sometimes we get to a point where infertility treatments become too much and too painful for us to continue. We all have a point we have to stop...it is not giving up. It is a point where you know that the bigger picture is to be happy and get back to your happy self. The past few years and especially the past year has been filled with sadness and frankly little hope. I am tired of feeling this way and I am tired of not being happy. Chris and I deserve to be happy. I have had 2 surgeries and 3 IVF cycles in the past year. 2 failed cycles and 1 ended in an early miscarriage. If that does not show you the ups and downs we have experienced in the past year then I don't know what will. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight. Proverbs 3: 5-6  We have decided that for now it is time to stop fertility treatments and stop actively trying to conceive. We are not saying that we will never do treatments again because we may. We meet with our doctor May 6 so we will hopefully have some new answers and I can assure you he will have a new plan because something is not right! But, for now we are not finding happiness with this journey and it is time for something new in our lives. We are going to start the adoption process. We meet with an agency next week. "God sets the lonely in families." Psalm 68:6 Sometimes you get to a point in life and what is most important to you! Chris and I have decided that we have a strong desire for children no matter what. It is more important then experiencing pregnancy. At the end of  the day we BOTH deserve to be happy and content and this adoption is what is moving in our hearts. We believe God has a great plan for us..we are not saying we will never conceive on your own or through a future treatment..but what we do know is that adoption is a miracle all in its own. We are excited for this new journey and really hope we continue to have the support of our family, friends, and blogger friends. We need your prayers, love, and support through this new journey. It will be hard. We know this is the best for us and that is all that matters. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 
We will continue to blog about our journey and share our experiences.  We just need a break from treatments for a while and find some happiness!